Archive for January, 2009
The following is my response to an email I received out of the blue from the douche bag I “dated”. He sent me this terrible email telling me I wasn’t shit, that he never loved me, he was using me, etc. Well, I wrote this and didn’t send it to him because he didn’t deserve [...]
Filed under: I caught you cheating on me with a Juicy girl, I dated a douchebag for almost 2 years, Why do people do fucked up shit when they claim they love someone, You completely shit on me and think you deserve another chance because you cried, You're a conceited bastard | Leave a Comment
Prepared to make an Impression
True Story:
We rolled into a club, and got hooked up VIP style. This guy that had been at an earlier spot was there, and yea I was eyeballing him because well, he was pretty damn cute through my Bacardi goggles. So, I boldly stroll up to the bar and straddle his leg. I don’t know [...]
Filed under: He looked like P-Diddy after 7 rum and diet cokes, do men really have video of their wangs on their cell phones, true story | 1 Comment
BITCH, don’t be so Bourgeoisie!!!So today at lunch, I had an appointment – right after I made a stop at a Taco Bell to grab a quick bite before I headed back to work. As I was greedily piling fire sauce into my bag – and simultaneously scanning my surroundings – ensuring that the patrons [...]
Filed under: compliment, taco flavored kisses | 1 Comment
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. I shouldn’t have to fight for attention, or knowingly compete with another woman. In my opinion, it should be a personal decision that the man makes IF he wants me. Some men claim they have no time etc etc etc. Well, truth be told – [...]
Filed under: My silly ramblings about relationships | Leave a Comment
The Wing Man
I actually had the pleasure of witnessing a group of boys discuss who was going to be the wing man for one of their friends. It was the funniest thing I had seen in a looong time.
So I was in a bar with a very raunchy name being a pool shark. [...]
Filed under: men, the wing man takes one for the team | Leave a Comment
Cupid Shuffle
I’ve decided to stop doing the cupid shuffle. It’s reminiscent of the rain dance. You know, do the rain dance and it’s supposed to start raining? Well, with that said, in theory, if one were to do the cupid shuffle, you would draw the conclusion that by the completion of the dance, you would be [...]
Filed under: nobody has ever been hit by cupids arrow doing the cupid shuffle | Leave a Comment
Trash can Bonfire! wut?
Memorial Day Weekend 2008 – True Story.
It was a nice pre-summer day. A number of people had gathered, having fun, cooking a whole bunch of food, playing spades, drinking beer and large amounts of various types or liquor. The setting – a backyard, not necessarily a landscaped backyard – well there was a rusted [...]
Filed under: BBQ, bonfire, trashcan | 1 Comment
After achieving “best of” a few months back, that challenge, that Je ne sais quoi, that Craigslist “it” factor is no longer present. Not to mention, I suspect the same 3 or 4 attention starved people are posting up different ads in an attempt to jump start their non-existent social life. I know [...]
Filed under: craigslist, personals | Leave a Comment
That doesn’t mean it’s a damn hippopotamus. That means its a duck!!
I’m guilty of it, we all are at one point or another, guilty of trying to make someone believe we’re not a duck when we’re waddling along on webbed feet and everything coming out our mouths is a quack this quack that. The point [...]
Filed under: I dated a douchebag for almost 2 years, You completely shit on me and think you deserve another chance because you cried, if it quacks its not a fucking pigeon, men | 1 Comment
Take a Bow Douchebag
How about a round of applause
A standing ovation
You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You’re so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out
Don’t tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now [...]
Filed under: I dated a douchebag for almost 2 years, rihanna, take a bow | Leave a Comment
-
Say What?
